iv had so much time to think and im so fucking  angry at you i really am and it hurts everytime i think about it

you played me around like a douche when i tho i was being given another chance and the whole time you where fucking someone else and i had to see them everyday and you fucking live him so im going to be paranoid to fuck, and how can someone even be that heartless to someone who they say they loved.

you can say what you like about the past but i never fucked someone you knew and you never had to see them everyday and we were not serious then so dont even try that bullshit

iv just come to realise that what you did to me was far worse than anything i ever did to you and yet i carnt understand how i can hate you and love you all at the same time its driving me fucking crazy, 

and yeah we txt every now and again and thats fine but i end up wanting to act like we  used to and just have a laugh but if i do that i will get it into my head that your intrested in me and will want something more then you will be like noo i just want to be friends and i will look like an idiot and feel like shit all at the same time. 

and lets face it the only real reason your texting me is coz you feel guilty and want to make sure im a alive so you can feel better about yourself

i have no idea what has brought all this on but the past week has been fucking horrible and it doesnt help that im dreaming about you breaking my heart and wake up feeling exactly how i felt back in swansea

im so fucking lost and i dont know what to do, all i want to do and need to do is move on but its not happening

also sucks that i dont really have any friends in bolton that want to hang around with me coz basically im abit of a bummer, and the friends i had in swansea are talking and saying shit behind my back so what the fuck am i supposed to do, the one person i would go to i carnt because i will just end up feeling shit again, my life fucking sucks. 

anything i do to try and change it just ends up being a punch to the face i dont know why i try, i give up i really do, whats the fucking point if all im wanting to do is to try and live but life just throws shit at you and puts you down, i give up

i miss her, fucking dreams dont help either 

i dont think i have smiled once this week :/errr i hate what i am right now

seriously people messaging me need to shut the fuck up. its not about one fucking girl, yes that was one of the problems and i miss her and stuff and i hate that she has changed into something she is not. but its more than that you fucking idiots and i know you care about her to but telling me how i should feel and what the fuck i should be doing is not going to help you bunch of morons. 

and to the people who think they know what is going on shut the fuck up. i did not screw with her head she screwed with mine, she fucked me up big time and i was treated like shit, yes my mistake for breaking up with her, i was treated like shit, i was taken for granted and basically fucking used.

im so fucking pissed off

talking about whats not fair, im here alone i barely see anyone and its not fair that i carnt evedn fucking vent or say whats on my mind without making someone else upset

yes i want to kill myself so fucking much, but i dont have the balls for it because im a pussy, but as soon as i see any good moment i will be out of your fucking hair ;)

p.s to the people who messaged me yes i know im pathetic and shit but you have no idea what im going through and telling me that i am pathetic and just putting all the blame on me for everything, yeah wise move to someone who is suicidal, you can all fuck off whoever you are you are no friend of mine

the end, goodbye :)

fuck this, im dead

im so fucking lonely its unreal, why does no one care anymore, why does no one want to be with me, why does the one girl i care about say she isnt over me and misses me but doesnt want anything, wtf my head is a mess, my heart is broken and i dont know what to do im not getting any better at all, fuck this bullshit someone shoot me please, get it over and done with and end this bullshit of a fucking life. 

also im thinking that im not meant to be alive, i was never supposed to be here for that long, the whole cancer thing was supposed to be it, im supposed to be dead right now. but either way im dying, and im worse of than i have ever been, no one loves me like they way i want them to, no one wants to be with me, and yeah sounds all pathetic but either way them things i want could save my life but dont see that happening 

sick of being alone 

(Source: happinessloveandotherstuff)

i really hate today, in drastic need of a cuddle, i dont want to be alone anymore :(